Marry and Love or Love and Marry. What do you think?
Many of us, I think all of us, might have face the situation where some of our relatives try to poke in our personal life. They intentionally or unintentionally bring some or the other marriage proposal in front of our parents. Even if your parents are not looking for the one. The situation is really frustrating.
Imagine, our parents influenced by their proposal asked us to meet them at least once before we say NO. Through the passing years, the concept of arranged marriage is being declined especially in the urban areas. But, then also 88% of the marriages in India are arranged. It all comes down to the matter of the personal choice. Our ancestor believes that arrange marriage are successful while we believe that love marriages are successful. We are left with the persistent thought of whether one should love and then marry or marry and then hope to love.
Let’s see the pros and cons of both of them below:
1. Marry and Love
Arrange marriage is considered as the union of not only two individuals but also of two families. More precedence is given to status, values, education, culture over the personal choices of their sons and daughters. Instead of checking the compatibility of the two individuals they focus on the compatibility of the two families.
Here, the bride has no option, she has to accept the choice of her family in order to be respectful. Lack of physical and emotional understanding is the primary issue in arrange marriage. As couples are not given enough time to understand each other views, beliefs, and feelings. As a result, a lot of adjustments are required to be made. We all struggle just to satisfy our parent wishes.
However, it is possible to fall in love after marriage when you understand each other and start feeling for each other. We learn to accommodate each other’s strengths and flaws, spend more time with each other, do things to make their life interesting. In the end, love only grows with the mutual sense of respect and care.
2. Love and Marry
The major advantage in this condition is the freedom to choose your partner. The one you know loves you the most. Having spent time with someone for longer durations enable that confidence as well as emotional and physical attachment to stay connected with each other. Thereby enhancing understanding and empathy.
Knowing the one with whom you want to spent the entire life built the feeling of comfort and safety by already knowing our partner strength and weakness. At the same time, the feeling of joy and happiness of marrying the one you love and care for is the biggest blessing of God.
It is believed that the couples in love marriage tend to be happier and eventually last longer because of their mutual understanding and compatibility.
Despite this love and attraction, there are situations which create some issues even if you are madly in love. Some love marriages do not get approval from the parents which limits social support in terms of accepting our partner and their behavior. We are bound to accept them for the same. There are times when your partner become disinterested in you over time and the effect of love starts waning.
The reason behind this is when you enter love there are a lot of expectations such as the drive for passion, romantic feelings for each other. But when it actually comes to take the responsibilities and reality of marriage, many fail to do so. All the feelings are overpowered by more pressing issues such as adjustments and compromises.
No marriages are perfect. There are no solutions to all these problems. We all say to our partners you don’t understand us but the reality is they are the ones who understand each other better than any other person on this planet.
Whether love or arrange every marriage needs love and respect for each other.